Canoeing on Lake Mead
by grillows.x3.forever
Summary: The CSIs go canoeing! I guess you could consider it as a sequel to Laser Tag in Las Vegas, but you don't have to read that one or anything. Grillows, Sandles. Chapter 3 now up!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Um… my "sequel"? to Laser Tag in Las Vegas, I guess… lol… The team goes canoeing! Woot. Got the idea cause I went canoeing on Sunday…and almost died… wooh. lol! Gil's POV again, Grillows still. lol**

"Catherine." I say in an edgy tone and glare at her.

"What?" She asks furiously. "Is it so hard to spend some time with the team?"

"We just went and played laser tag! Isn't that enough?" I almost shout.

"That was two months ago! And you enjoyed it!"

"Did not!" I shout.

"DID TOO!" Catherine yells back. Just then, Greg walks through the door of my office.

"Hey, boss, I…" He looks at Catherine's red face and my gritted teeth. "I'll come back later." Greg runs out of the office and down the hall.

"Well that was effective." Catherine says and sighs. She sits down on my desk, and I sit on my chair. "Gil, really now, it's not like it's going to be cutting into your work or anything! We're all off for a few hours on Saturday and Lindsey and Miley are really looking forward to it!"

"You told Lindsey and Miley first, instead of me?" I ask angrily. Her eyes grow wide and she clears her throat.

"Umm… no… it's just… I was going to tell you at dinner last night but you had to work and Miley was over so I asked Lindsey if she wanted to invite Miley and they got really excited and-" I jump up and place my hand over her mouth. "Phhwease?" She says through my hand and gives me puppy-dog eyes.

"Ok, ok. Fine. Whatever." I give in. Why do I always give in? It's that face she gives me. Maybe I should wear a blindfold the next time she asks me about something.

"Thank you, Gil. I swear you'll love it!" She jumps up and gives me a kiss on the lips, then runs out of my office.

"Wait… where are you going!" I call after her.

"To tell the kids!" She yells back. I groan. Here we go again…

"Gil?" I hear Catherine call from upstairs.

"Yes, dear?" I call up.

"Where's my crime lab t-shirt?"

"How am I supposed to know? Does it look like it would fit me?" I yell up the stairs.

"Well I wouldn't know since I CAN'T FIND IT!" She yells back down. I groan and begin to head up the stairs when I hear the doorbell.

"I GOT IT!" Lindsey yells from the basement and runs upstairs. She opens the door. "MILEY!"

"Hey, Linds!" Miley brings her stuff inside.

"Let's go put our stuff in the car!" Lindsey says excitedly and they run out the garage door. I begin walking up the stairs again.

"Never mind, I found it!" Catherine yells right into my ear as I get to the top step. "Oh, sorry."

"No problem." I say sarcastically and start back down the stairs. "Are we ready? Linds and Miley are already in the car."

"Uhm… I just have to put on my eyeliner." Catherine calls down to me. I groan.

"Cath, we're going canoeing… not to a wedding." I yell up the stairs.

"You just don't understand." Catherine yells down.

"You just don't understand." I say, mocking her. I see her go to the top of the staircase.

"Oh, shut up!" Catherine yells and throws her bag at me. It hits me on the arm.

"OW! What the hell do you have in there?" I yell up at her. She pops her head back into the hallway.

"You don't wanna know." She says and winks at me. I make a disgusted face and drop the bag. She's right, now I really don't wanna know.

"Ok, I'm ready." Catherine runs down the stairs in very short shorts and a tight muscle shirt that says Crime Lab on the back. Wow. I knew there was a reason they made the women buy those shirts. Catherine looks at me and I come out of my… er… meditation. She smacks me on the arm.

"God, you just wanna hit me today, don't you." I say to her. She rolls her eyes at me and we walk out the garage door.

**Author's Other Note: Sooo… gonna try to finish this before Monday… that's when I start school! But we go for orientation on Friday.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Chapter 2… here ya go.**

Catherine pulls up to Greg's apartment building. Wait, Greg's?

"Cath, what are you doing?" I ask as Lindsey and Miley hop out of the car and buzz the apartment.

"Picking up Greggy, duh." She says to me. I groan.

"We're picking up Greg?"

"Obviously, Gil."

"Great." I say sarcastically and Catherine gives me a look. Greg and Sara walk down the stairs inside the apartment building and out the door. Wait a minute. Sara? I look over at Catherine, who looks like she's thinking exactly what I am.

"What the hell?" We both ask at the same time.

"Well… this is an… interesting new development." I say to Catherine. She shrugs.

"I knew something was up." She says knowingly. I glare at her.

"Yeah right. How?"

"I caught them making out in the locker room last week." Catherine says and my eyes widen.

"More than enough info, dear."

"I know." Catherine smiles at me and kisses me on the lips. I deepen the kiss… might as well if Greg's having fun too.

"EW SO GROSS!" Lindsey screams as she pulls open the back door. "SHIELD YOUR EYES!" Cath and I break apart and Catherine gives Lindsey a glare.

"Hey boss, hey Cat!" Greg exclaims cheerily as he jumps into the car. "Having fun up there?"

"Looks like you were." I say in mock happiness to Greg. He blushes, turning the color of a ripe tomato. Catherine and I slap hi-fives. Sara climbs into the car and looks at Greg's red face.

"Did I miss the punch line?" She asks as she buckles her seat belt.

"Oh yeah." Catherine smiles and pulls the car out.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Catherine pulls down a dirt road that Greg directed us onto a few minutes ago.

"Duh." Greg says and Catherine gives him a look in the rearview mirror.

"Don't make me come back there. Sara might get jealous." Catherine says with an evil smile on her face. Sara throws Lindsey's tennis ball at her. "OW!"

"My job is done." Sara puts on her sunglasses and leans back in her chair. Catherine pulls up to a small hut filled with canoes and a larger building off to the right.

"'Greg's Canoe Rental'." I read. "Greg…."

"What? My buddy owns a lot of places!" Greg exclaims and throws his hands up. "It's not me!" I groan.

"You mean surfer-dude Greg." Catherine states more than asks. Greg shakes his head frantically, reminding me of a dog for some reason.

"Well, how many Greg's do you know?" I ask him.

"Greg's a popular name, boss." Greg states matter-of-factly. I groan. Greg number three. Maybe I should just call him three. Or call Greg one. Or call Greg two… no now I'm really confused.

"Well, whatever his name is, let's get canoeing!" Lindsey shouts from the back and she and Miley cheer excitedly. Catherine unlocks the doors and we all climb out. Just then, Nick and Warrick pull up in Nick's car.

"Guess who was over whose house last night." Catherine says seductively to Nick and Warrick.

"Are you serious?" Nick asks Catherine as she points her thumb over at Greg and Sara. She nods.

"Dead serious."

"No way."

"Way."

"Nuh uh."

"Yeah."

"Get out of here."

"GUYS!" I yell at all of them.

"I'm going to get you, Catherine Willows!" Greg yells angrily and takes her purse from under her arm.

"GREGORY YOU GIVE THAT BACK NOW!" Catherine yells at Greg, who stares at her for a second like a deer in the headlights, then begins to run frantically into the men's bathroom, arms flailing behind him. Nick, Warrick, and Sara all start cracking up while I try to stifle a laugh.

"I'M GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS, YOU HEAR ME?" Catherine runs towards the men's bathroom and opens the door.

"Cath, that's the men's-" I say as she slams the bathroom door in my face. I shrug at the guys and they all run after me into the bathroom. Catherine is pushing open all the doors of the stalls.

"GREG!" Catherine yells loudly, the sound echoing through the bathroom. "I FIND YOU AND YOU **WILL** BE ON DOC ROBBINS' TABLE NEXT!" Catherine runs out the other end of the bathroom and we all follow. We all see Greg running down the grassy hill behind the bathroom, Catherine's purse slung around his arm. The rest of the kids run after Catherine down the hill while I stand and laugh at the scene. I wish I had a camera.

"Pretty wild group of kids ya got there." An old man says behind me as he exits the bathroom.

"You have no idea." I reply and he smiles and walks away. Suddenly, Greg's running straight by me back into the men's bathroom, still holding Catherine's purse.

"Here, boss." Greg drops Catherine's purse in my hands and continues running. Catherine runs right past me, along with everyone else. I stare at Catherine's purse as the bathroom door shuts.

"GREG!" I hear from inside the bathroom and open the door. "I'M SO GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS WITH A CANOE PADDLE!" Catherine's yelling as she crawls under a bathroom stall door, which hopefully has Greg behind it.

"Really? Well I might as well take my chances…." Greg says dangerously as he flushes the toilet. Wow, Greg's actually smarter than I thought, pulling a trick like that.

"YOU DID NOT JUST FLUSH MY PURSE DOWN THE TOILET!" Catherine yells as she gets up on the other side of the stall.

"Ohhhhh yeah." We all hear Greg say. Suddenly there's a lot of noise, like banging on the doors.

"OW!" Greg yells in a high-pitched, girly voice. Oooh that was probably one of Catherine's left hooks.

"CATH HE STILL HAS TO BE ABLE TO WORK FOR US!" I yell through the stall door. I move out of the way just in time as Greg tumbles out of the stall onto the ground and Catherine stands there triumphantly.

"Damn, boss, your wife has a lot of strength." Greg rubs his head and gets up to his feet.

"Let's not go there." I say to him. I turn to Cath. "Looking for this?" I swung her purse around on my index finger and she grabbed it.

"Thanks." She gave me a quick kiss and then turned and smacked Greg in the head with her purse.

"OW! What the hell?" Greg yelled angrily as he rubbed his head again.

"That's what I wanna know!" Catherine yelled. She walked over to him and stared at him directly in the eyes. Oh crap. I know that stare.

"Uhh… umm… Where are Lindsey and Miley?" Greg just saved himself there. Wait… Lindsey and Miley!

**Author's other note: Yeah yeah I know. They didn't go canoeing yet. BUT THEY WILL!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Glad you guys thought it was funny! Thanks for the reviews! Now, on with the show… er… fic. There's about to be a WHAT! GREG/CATH FIGHT! I really love this chapter!**

We all run out of the men's bathroom, past some guy giving Catherine and Sara a funny look.

"LINDS, MILEY!" Catherine shouts loudly as we keep running. I see Lindsey and Miley as we're running and stop by them with a sigh of relief.

"Guys, we're so glad we found you!" I say exasperatedly. I'm not exactly a runner.

"We?" Lindsey asks and points to my right. I look over to see the rest of the group still running up a hill. I groan.

"GUYS!" I yell loudly at the group, now turning into a mob-type thing. Suddenly, I see Catherine attack Greg, diving towards him. Greg and Catherine roll down the hill, quickly coming towards us.

"YOU IDIOT! NOW WE CAN'T FIND MY DAUGHTER AND HER FRIEND BECAUSE OF YOU! YOU IDIOT!" Catherine screams into Greg's face. The heat is definitely getting to her.

"Oh shut up, you'll find her eventually." Greg says vehemently. Everyone stops and stares. Catherine's eyes are glazed with fury.

"**What** did you say?" Oh shit. Catherine stares at Greg straight in the eyes. His eyes fill with fear for a second, and then turn stone cold.

"I said. You. Will. Find. Her. Eventually." Greg says matter-of-factly. Catherine reaches her hand back and slaps him in the face. Hard.

"Damn you." Catherine gets up off of Greg and brushes the dirt and rocks out of her hair. She looks over at me and then notices Miley and Lindsey standing next to me.

"GOOD GOD, THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE A FUN DAY!" Catherine yells loudly and stomps her foot like a little kid. I decide not to say anything, due to the fact that Greg already has a red mark forming on his left cheek. "LINDSEY, WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?"

"Standing right here watching you beat the crap out of Greg." Lindsey states as Sara pulls Greg up to his feet.

"Oh." Everyone goes silent. Have you ever had one of those moments where it's so quiet, you can hear everyone else breathing? Well, that's how it is right now. Times ten.

"Uhh… guys. Not meaning to break the silence or anything, but we've been here an hour and still haven't gotten our canoes." Nick states, looking at his watch.

"Yeah. Ok. Let's go." I say, trying to lead Cath away from Greg. This will be just great.

(Isn't Cath a bitch? LMAO)

"Hey, dudes!" We hear someone shout from behind us as I help Lindsey into a life jacket. We all turn around, and I have a serious case of de ja vu.

"Greg." Sara whispers to Greg as he pulls on her life jacket.

"Yeah?"

"Are you sure that that is not the other Greg we already met?"

"Well, duh I'm sure, Sara!" Greg gives her a 'no duh' look. Now, really. It was freaky enough having Greg two look like Greg, but a third one? I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to handle all this today.

"Now that you've successfully beat the hell out of each other, it's time to go canoeing!" Greg three yells loudly and Lindsey and Miley yell "YAY!" in really high-pitched voices.

"So. I can see you have your life jackets on. Now, get a paddle. The little dudes should get shorter paddles, but that's pretty much obvious." Greg three says and we all grab paddles out of a big box by the side of the wall in the lobby.

"Ok. So, you'll have two dudes per canoe. Dos. One plus two. Three minus one. If you're in the back, you steer. If you're in the front, uhh, you don't. You steer by sticking your paddle in the water. If you put it in on the left, you go left. If you put it in on the right, you go right." Well no duh. This guy really sounds like Greg two. And one. And any others that may exist.

"Make sure you tie your stuff to the canoe bars so that if it tips," Catherine gives me a scared look, "you won't have to swim down the river to find it. Got it?"

"YEAH DUDE!" Miley and Lindsey yell.

"Thank you! Someone was paying attention. Ok. This is a man-made river that we dug just for the canoe rental shack you are standing in. There are a few rapids, but nothing too bad." Catherine gives me another look on the word 'Rapids'. "If you lose your paddle, someone else better grab it, or you're screwed. Oh, and don't drown. That's all! You're canoes are in the water! NOW LET'S GET CANOEING!" Lindsey and Miley run out the back door down the steps to the small river. We all walk behind them.

"Be right back." Catherine whispers to me and jogs down half the steps. She reaches the shore and runs after Greg. She stops him and says something. He rubs his head, and then nods. He sticks out his hand. Cath stares at it for a moment, and then hugs him. He smiles and nods at her, then runs to catch up with Sara, who is trying to pick out a canoe. I walk down the stairs and meet up with Cath.

"Everything all right now?" I ask her. She gives me one of her brilliant smiles.

"Perfect."

"Good. Now let's get a canoe." I say and we walk over to the canoes that are pulled up on the shore. They all look the same, except they have the saying "Greg's Canoe Rental" painted on the sides in different colors.

"Ooooh I want the blue one!" Sara shouts excitedly. She runs over to it and ties her cooler to the inside. She starts pushing on the front, and Greg comes up behind her.

"Having trouble?" Greg asks her with a smile.

"Just… urgh… a little!" Sara almost falls over from trying to push the canoe into the water. Greg helps her push, and it slides into the water.

"There."

"C'mon, Gil! We're getting the red one!"

"Oh, not if I beat you there." Nick says tauntingly to Catherine. Catherine gives him a sly look, and then runs for the canoe. Nick stands there for a minute. "HEY!" Catherine pushes the canoe into the water and jumps in.

"C'MON, GIL!" She shouts at me and I jump into the back, getting my shoes thoroughly soaked in the clear water. "Let's go!" We start paddling furiously, passing Sara and Greg up, who are shouting at us. Lindsey and Miley are already farther down the river, yelling about something. Suddenly, they see the tree branch they're about to hit. They scream really loud, until they're flipped out of the canoe.

"Oooooh." Greg yells as they hit the water. We watch as their canoe fills with water and sinks to the bottom of the river, which is only about two feet deep.

"WHERE'S THE CANOE?" Lindsey yells as she stands up. We all burst into fits of laughter and paddle towards them. Lindsey and Miley walk around, trying to find the canoe. Suddenly Lindsey falls flat on her face into the water. "FOUND IT!" She yells. We paddle toward them.

"Need help?" Catherine asks nicely. Too nicely.

"Yeah." Lindsey and Miley try to pick up the canoe filled with water that probably weighs more than both of them.

"Well, get it from someone else." Catherine says evilly and starts to paddle. Lindsey and Miley swim over to our canoe and push the side.

"CATHERINE!" I yell angrily as Catherine screams. We hit the water, our life jackets keeping us from scraping our legs on the bottom. Catherine stands up, soaked from head to toe.

"You have no idea what you've started now, dear." Catherine says dangerously to Lindsey, her hair dripping. By now, Greg has jumped into the water and lifted their canoe up, dumping the water out of it. Lindsey and Miley look at us for a minute with wide eyes. Suddenly, they scream and jump back into their canoe, paddling quickly.

"GO GO GO!" They're both shouting as they canoe under a bridge. Catherine and I stare at each other for a minute, when I realize how funny the situation is. I try to fight back a laugh at the look on Cath's face. When that didn't work, I busted out laughing. Catherine grits her teeth and stares at me.

"Something… funny?" Catherine says in the tone she just talked to Lindsey with. My smile fades and I try to keep a straight face. She keeps glaring at me, and with no such luck again, I begin to laugh.

"No…" I say while I'm laughing. Catherine stares at me more. Something in her eyes changes. Uh oh.

"Liar." Catherine states angrily and jumps on me, both of us falling back into the water. Nick and Warrick stop their canoe and start cracking up. I get up and ring out my shirt.

"Payback's a bitch." Catherine says with a smile to me.

"Damn right!" I yell at her and drag her back into the water, while she screams at the top of her lungs. Nick and Warrick are laughing loudly now. Catherine glares at me.

"Ooooh you've got it coming now, mister." She runs for me, but then looks over at Nick and Warrick. She shakes her head that way and I nod. We both swim over there, Nick and Warrick not paying attention since they're laughing so hard. Catherine mouths the words "one… two… three." We push their boat, tipping them into the water, and probably scaring the crap out of them.

"HEY!" Nick yells. Warrick stands up.

"Aww, that's not cool, man." Warrick says sadly as he looks at his wet shirt. "This is my favorite shirt."

"Well, there's a lesson learned. Never wear your favorite shirt around Catherine." Nick says and laughs. Warrick jumps back into the boat.

"It's on now, man!" Warrick yells at Nick and begins to paddle quickly, leaving Nick standing there.

"HEY! WAR! C'MON!" Nick runs after the canoe, and it's our turn to crack up. Suddenly, we realize we're the last ones standing here.

"Uh… Gil?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's our canoe?" We both look around and find our canoe going down the river past Greg and Sara, who are cracking up and pointing at it.

"SHIT!" Catherine yells and we both start swimming for it. We see our paddles and grab them.

"Damnit, Cath! We'll never get there!"

"Come on… I've got an idea…"

**Author's other note: Heehee, Catherine's such a bitch in this story and I'm having fun with it. xD**


End file.
